Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I actually pay taxes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Deion Sanders: Pre-draft attacks on Shedeur and Shilo "hurt" - NBC Sports

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Why after 50 years of being straight do I constantly desire to suck cock?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Can ringing in the ears be a sign of spiritual awakening?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Is it possible to revive a dead person in real life with black magic?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t buy bullshit

Mega-Tsunamis That Shook the World for 9 Days Revealed in New Satellite Images - Gizmodo

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Meta in Talks for Scale AI Investment That Could Top $10 Billion - Bloomberg

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I see through liars

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I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have a reading level above third grade

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Harvey Weinstein Was Abused, Defense Says in Retrial Closing Argument - Variety

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

J.K. Rowling said that 65% of people in Britain are transgender. Where did she come up with that statistic?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for fakery

What is the naughtiest fantasy that you've lived out?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Phil Spencer Just Lowkey Confirmed The Halo: Combat Evolved Remaster Making 2026 A Massive Year For Xbox - Kotaku

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can read

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I can count

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet